© Kelsey Inez
Day in the Life of a Superhero – Phantom Hex Edition:
I woke up panting this morning. I always do whenever I have that dream. What is that dream you ask? Well I kind of have a secret government organization trying to murder me and I always have this reoccurring dream in which they are trying to kill me. It’s not a big deal really, I’ve honestly come to terms with it. I’m sure you’re now wondering why I have my own posse of federal agents after me. Well it all began when I accidentally ran into a bucket of chemicals my company was working on to help cure myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy. That is a big term for a rare condition characterized by reduced body fat and increased muscle size. Basically individuals affected have up to twice the usual amount of muscle mass in their bodies. They also tend to have increased muscle strength.
So back to my story, I ran into this bucket of chemicals and it poured all over me. Of course I took the precautions and ran to the shower to wash myself off, but it was too late. The chemicals had already seeped into my skin and were making their way into my bloodstream. I had become another breed of human.
It took me a while to realize that anything significant had even happened to me. I still looked and felt the same as I did before the accident, but my insides told a different story. I first realized my attainment of this inhuman strength when I accidentally tore my car door off of it’s hinges. Soon I discovered that I was able to pick up and hurl cars the length of a football field and knock over buildings with my bare hands. I mean you name it and I could more than likely do it. So this is where the secret government organization comes into play. They obviously didn’t want a super human roaming the streets. Thus, they set out to murder me. Lucky for me they are unsure of who I am. Pretty much, they had an informant who saw me pick up a car and move it because I wanted to park there that day (casual, I know). The informant was too freaked out to gain any viable information on me, but they know enough to be looking in the correct city in all of the United States. So needless to say, I am a wee paranoid and try to live my daily life under the radar.
Normally when I wake up I make myself some breakfast and down a cup of coffee before heading into work. I work at the same chemical plant where it happened. For some reason they think that I am going to be their tester of new chemicals since I miraculously survived the accident. Of course I don’t test chemicals for them, because that is extremely dangerous, but if they are willing to keep me around knowing my condition – it makes being myself a whole lot easier. So after I finish my normal nine to five job. I return home, eat a quick dinner, and head to my night job.
My night job consists of actually using my abilities for the greater good. I am assuming the agents that are out looking for me go home at five too. Therefore, I feel safe to go wander the streets in search of trouble. I dress like a normal person and do all of my work in secret. For instance, just last week I saved a woman who had gotten her purse taken from her as soon as she had gotten off the subway. I slyly walked by her, assured her I would return with her purse, and then set out in pursuit of the criminal. I don’t have super speed or anything, so nobody ever thinks it is weird to see a woman running down the street. What they don’t know is that I can, and do, lift cars and hurl them at criminals. So to make a long story short – when the criminal turned down an alley way, I picked up this cute punch buggy, threw it directly at him, he passed out, I grabbed the purse, and I returned it to the woman – just as I had promised.